Husband’s disturbing find on nanny cam
Parenting is a tough gig, whichever way you cut it. It's hard being a working parent, it's hard being a stay-at-home parent and it's hard trying to combine the two. But what's hardest of all is when people you love don't actually understand just how hard it is.
One man has taken to Reddit with concern over his wife's behaviour, worrying if she's "checking out" when people aren't watching. He explains they got nanny cams for when they hired babysitters, "just in case" and occasionally use them to keep an eye on the dogs when they're out, but otherwise, they are to stay off.
When he happened to log on to the app from his phone at work, however, he was surprised to see the live feed from the living room.
"In the feed, my wife was on her tablet with noise-cancelling headphones when the boys were playing kind of rough with each other... she was just ignoring it," he said.
He went back through the app and watched some of the recorded footage stored in the cloud and saw more of the same.
"Every time, she had her headphones on and was practically ignoring the kids," he explained.
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'SHE LOOKED REALLY CHECKED-OUT'
Rather than being angry, however, the man said he was worried.
"She looked really checked-out and that was absolutely unlike her," he said, explaining that he asked her if anything was going on and in response, she just got defensive.
"She got upset with me for looking through a week of videos... she said I should have told her and not watched, I told her I wanted to talk about how she was doing, what was up and she just shut down."
He said that he feels so worried, "it's like a switch seems to flip when she's alone with the kids versus when she knows someone is watching... she's so attentive and present when we're doing stuff as a family or with family friends around, but it looked like she was 100 per cent checked out when she thought nobody would see."
'LEAVE YOUR WIFE ALONE'
While one or two people had his back, arguing, "they're your children and you have the right to worry about them, and her," most thought this husband was being a huge jerk, with absolutely no understanding of how hard it is to be a stay-at-home parent.
"Stop spying on your wife and give her some damn breathing room," one said, adding, "The noise-cancelling headphones have to go, but you need to adjust your expectations so your wife doesn't burn out."
Others wanted him to spend a day in her shoes: "You could learn a thing or two from your wife. Instead of armchair parenting from the comfort of your computer at work, roll up your sleeves and actually parent because it is your job and not as a 'favour' to her, you self-righteous spectator... I vote mum gets a hotel room for the week and watches you on the cameras all day."
SHE CLEARLY NEEDED A BREAK
"Maybe getting her some help one or two days a week would help. Also, I hope you are putting in some time with the boys when you are there," one asked, to which he explained that he looks after them one night a week and they go to preschool two half days, which, let's be fair, isn't a hell of a lot of time when they aren't with her and aren't driving her crazy.
Others wondered if her mornings off were actually time off - to which he admitted she was mostly just running errands.
"If you are concerned about her not engaging, give her a full days break... she deserves this, twins are exhausting," one said, adding, "I totally understand why your wife is upset, you're criticising how she parents by watching a video with NO context... if you have never gone a solid week alone with those kids, without your wife's help, you should do so-put yourself in her shoes so you understand how exhausting parenting alone can be."
More than anything, people wanted him to realise that parents are meant to check-out occasionally and kids are meant to be a bit feral.
"There's no f*cking way I can keep my eyes on my kids at all times when we're home," one admitted, adding, "Yes, I caught mine riding down the stairs in a laundry basket... I only caught them on the third run because I heard thumps and extreme laughter and didn't immediately investigate. I wasn't having downtime, but was cooking dinner and didn't want to leave the hot stove unattended with a clingy cranky toddler underfoot."
This article originally appeared on Kidspot.com.au and was reproduced with permission