The gym and I aren’t getting on
The gym and I aren’t getting on

I’m struggling to make friends with my gym

I think I've left my run-up for a summer body a bit too late. It's October and I can still only use a 5kg dumbbell for bicep curls at the gym. I'm no expert but I don't think any of the Instagram models get their amazing yoga arms using 5kg dumbbells twice a week at the gym, with a pizza blowout most Fridays.

It seems I have work to do, but first some general stalling and throwing money at the problem. I've been struggling with running, it's hard. I don't remember it being so hard. So to make running easier, I bought proper running shoes, not just fashionable sneakers, but proper, daggy shoes that are purely for running. I genuinely thought in the store that my new shoes would have me springing on the treadmill like a chunky gazelle.

 

Shaking off her winter bod: Mel Buttle
Shaking off her winter bod: Mel Buttle

Far from it, they're just shoes that are slightly more comfy than my old ones and, for added value, these ones have a splash of festive aqua on them.

I am still struggling to make friends with the gym, in fact the gym and I are not on good terms. I drove there this week, and I didn't even get out of my car, I just couldn't go in. Instead, I got a coffee and told myself that walking the dog around the block would burn just as many calories as lifting weights. You may not buy that, but my brain sure did.

My summer body is a work in progress, the legs are looking OK, the arms not too bad, the tummy isn't great, but it never has been. I looked back at my baby photos this week and I had a pot belly then and I've got one now.

I wonder at what point I will give up on the gym and just swim in a T-shirt at the beach? My guess is when I'm still on 5kg dumbbells in December.

Mel Buttle is a Brisbane comedian

Originally published as I'm struggling to make friends with my gym