Mother’s tribute to young Digger lost too soon
Liam Wolf died from injuries sustained in a training accident at the Army Recruit Training Centre. His mother Susan Devine has penned this tribute to him.
Today, one year ago, as I was walking into St George Hospital in Sydney, the sun was shining, the sky was clear and the birds were chirping. People were busy and bustling about their day but I was in complete doom and yet in another dimension! The darkness that hung over me was huge and I wanted to turn and run the other way.
Today, was the day I was to say goodbye to my Liam and "so called" put an end to this nightmare. However, the loss of you is another nightmare that will stay with us forever.
Surrounded by your father and your brother, we watched the nurse rushing around getting your mobile ventilator sorted and you ready for theatre.
I was just staring at him, trying to get more of him, feel more of him so I didn't forget.
I've felt this doom before many a time and this stillness like I was stuck watching the world exist in slow motion. Death approaching. I don't want to be here again. Not to lose another part of my being. It's gut wrenching and it feels like hell. I feel so sick. I want to say, no can we just hang onto him for a bit longer. However, there was Liam and he had another job to do and he was no longer the Liam we knew. In body yes, but his spirit was gone and he wouldn't have lasted much longer on the ventilator. He now had a job to do and that was to share his life with six others.
Liam, was my brave soldier, he would fight to the end and that's what he did. I'm so proud of you my son. You gave us so many beautiful memories. You also gave me many frights and your fearless determination tested me so many times. However, this was you! My Liam, would be so giving and loyal, he was selfless to those who knew him. We fought like any mother and teenage son, but I will never forget when he out of the blue in our second last conversation at Kapooka he randomly said, "I love you Mum"!
Those words I never imagined to hear and hold onto them so dear.
A year later, feels like yesterday when we watched you slip away peacefully to another realm. No last gasp for air, you just drifted away. Still so beautiful, my sleeping angel. No more tubes invading your face. You were free....
I can still see you now soaring across the field at Kapooka, riding off into the sunset on that motorbike you so wanted or running off with the animal kingdom that so loved you.
My boy, my son it's hard to still fathom you're not here as my naughty middle child. There's such a gap now, a silence and just your memories that I think about every second of the day.
Thank you for letting me be your Mum for 18 years. The laughs, the eye rolls, the whinging, the sighs, the squeals, "Susan Maree's" that would echo around the house when you wanted me, the fry up of morning breakfasts that you'd do. The teenage smell that lingered that I can no longer smell. The messy room and plates piling everywhere! Your love of receiving back tickles and bribing you for affection. Your random philosophical questions as we'd be riding together in the car. The time where you would love to talk was when I was driving. Your curious mind never stopped. It earnt you so much respect but also got you into trouble. Finally, thank you for giving us so many gifts when you left. Your priceless journal that gave us a glimpse into your heart, soul and mind we would never have known or seen.
Thank you for being you, Liam Wolf! Thank you for blessing my life and teaching me how to love you....... RIP out there and don't ever stop showing us you're here. I love you and I look forward to seeing when it's time for me in another life. I miss you more everyday and my heart yearns for you. Love Mum
Originally published as Mother's tribute to young Digger lost too soon