WHISPERS: Hopes rise for divine humour exorcism

TOOWOOMBA chap of the Catholic persuasion has a questionable reputation for bad jokes at the best of times, but having come down with a cold, it seems his humour attempts have also fallen ill.

Alas, the chap is determined to get healthy enough to meet a friend of the cloth who is on a flying visit to town today.

His friends, while wishing him a speedy recovery, are also hopeful the religious leader-in-training can perform a minor miracle of exorcising him of his terrible jokes.

Bad run of fortune

WHILE on the topic of miracles, is there such a thing as a good run of bad luck?

Local lad had told friends he was weaning himself off beers and alcohol for a period, but would still frequent watering holes to remain social and in the know.

Just so happens his luck has turned around in the interim.

Having walked into a favourite city establishment, our man's name was entered into the daily pub draw for free pots of beer - and won.

Feeling duty bound, he consumed some of the winnings and went home.

But the same thing happened again a few days later.

He's now got a surplus supply for when he stops kidding himself and returns to regular ale consumption.

Crushing it

GENTLE reminder for people using the Containers for Change refund scheme - have some patience to make sure only cans are crushed, not cars.

One driver was forcibly reminded of that recently when cashing in his bottles and cans for the 10c refund.

In a congested car park, the motorist either misjudged the size of his 4WD or the space between a fully loaded truck when making an exit dash.

As other motorists waited patiently to leave the carpark, the driver revved up and sped through the tiny opening but didn't quite make it, scraping and crushing the entire side panel of the 4WD.

The misjudged manoeuvre left the car looking as dishevelled as the metres-high stack of cans and bottles in the unmissable truck.

Flat out of luck

IT PAYS to be young and beautiful, or maybe it just pays to actually get out of your pyjama pants before doing the afternoon school pick-up.

Cabarlah lady known for her love of wearing pyjamas so much she calls them "house pants" came motoring out of the driveway on the way to do the afternoon school pick-up when disaster struck.

Sure enough, she pulled over and found a screw hanging out of the tyre, which was now flatter than a failed souffle.

Not one to shy away from a tough job, she pulled the baby out of the car, popped her in the pram and grabbed the spare tyre, only to discover her friendly tyre service hadn't noticed a nail hanging out of it when it was serviced.

Where every flat tyre experience in her 15 years of driving was immediately followed by a kind stranger offering to help, this time the cars just cruised on by.

As she debated what to do next, tyre iron in hand, finally a lovely gent in a Foxtel van pulled over and offered to put a bit of air in the spare to get her back home again.

She wasn't sure whether it was the pyjama pants or the red-faced, cranky baby scaring off possible helpers, but either way she couldn't blame them.

Or perhaps it's just a sign of the times…

Armchair expert

CHAP who considers himself quite the rugby league expert enjoyed State of Origin night with an occasional footy fan.

However, into the second half, the occasional footy fan was analysing the game a lot better than the expert and, with Queensland behind, said: "Why don't they get it to that Gagai, he looks more like scoring."

Expert scoffed: "Doesn't work like that."

Naturally, Gagai went on to be the hero when they got the ball out to him.

After the game, occasional footy fan asked expert for his tip for man of the match and he offered Papalli or Munster.

"Nah, I reckon Gagai," she said. She's now awaiting a phone call from Kevvy Walters inviting her onto the Maroons coaching team.